LDS girls don’t grow up thinking to themselves, “I wonder what I’ll be when I grow up” the same way LDS boys do. The result? Mid-life anger, resentment, depression, and self-loathing.
IMO, The LDS church robs girls of dreams, creativity, and their ability to contribute.
My ex wife’s main complaint about life was that she never really felt like she even had a choice… about anything.
As boys, we grew up feeling like we would all one day rule the world. Having a good wife, an education, and a good work ethic meant that we could almost write our own script in life that would define ourselves as husbands, fathers and professionals.
But based on things I’ve heard from a handful of LDS and exmormon women (like my ex wife), for most girls who grew up as “good Mormon ladies”, many had no incentive to even really ponder questions like:
What do I want to be when I grow up?
Do I even want to have kids?
Where do I want to live?
What are my dreams?
My ex wife would go through some serious depression at times. During these periods she would absolutely groan with sadness that she felt like she was robbed of choices as a child and never even considered what her future would be like, as though her was already scripted for her. Then, when she ended up as an adult doing exactly all those things that the church said she’d be doing… it filled her with rage and anger. It turns out that she ended up being awesome at baking bread, planning events for home and church, and raising babies… all of which are honorable skills, but often fall short of the dreams that many women would have had for themselves, if it had occurred to them that they were even allowed to have dreams of their own in the first place.
Even if she had powerfully chosen to be a mom, a wife, etc… it’s not like she ever really had the opportunity to consider anything else. It filled her with lots and lots of rage about her missed life.
One of the best things I’ve ever done as a father was to extract my daughters from the harmful dream-killing aspects of the LDS church before they fell into the same soul-sucking dream-trap. My girls have since gone on to become artists, teachers, rock band managers and world travelers.
But for many women who grew into adulthood with children and husbands while focusing only on supporting their men and families, while not having pursued their own life goals (if they ever cultivated them in the first place) they are now left with a lifetime of regret, resentment, anger and bitterness when facing the realization of the life they could have had… if only they had known they had a choice.
The LDS church is a harmful, destructive organization that exists only for the purpose of enriching its leaders and providing political and business power over those they claim to love and lead. Bollocks.